I-search why

I search why
My reasons for researching this topic are purely selfish. I have found it hard to hang on to love in the way I want. I want to keep the magic alive forever (or as long as we both shall live) and not fall into that rut most couples do. I want to go to my grave with my deepest regret being that I can’t have my wife in the casket with me. I love being in love, it is what gets me out of bed in the morning and the reason I shower on weekends. I want to stay in love forever. In order to do this there are some questions I need answered.
• How do you know when you’re starting to fall out of love?
o Are there warning signs or does it just happen?
o What specifically causes it?
o Did you want to fall out of love?
• How much work is involved with keeping love strong?
o Some people say it just comes naturally, are they lying?
o Who do some couples always seem to be on the cusp of breakup?
o What is your greatest sacrifice for love?
o What is your spouse’s?
• What are the biggest obstacles to love?
o How did you overcome them?
o In hindsight, are they obstacles or just blips?
o Does everyone face the same challenges?
o What made you decide to overcome them?
• Out of X years of marriage, how much time have you spent apart?
o Do you have separate hobbies or interests?
o Have you ever lied to your spouse?
o Is there one issue that causes discord?
o Have you ever hidden anything from your spouse?
• Is sex tied to love?
o Are there “routines” or is it new and exciting sometimes?
o If you could no longer have sex would it be the same love?
o Has sex caused a rift?
• How often do you argue?
o Who gives in first usually?
o How long do the spats last?
o How often do you argue about money?
o How long do you hold a grudge?
o Have you ever gone to bed angry at each other?
• What’s the most important thing to keep in mind?
o Are there unwritten rules?
o How much advice were you given, and how much of it rang true?
o What should you never, never do?
o What should you do more often?
There are more questions I have asked, but I found them to be more ice breakers than relevant to my research. Not all the questions were answered by all the subjects interviewed.