I search background
The personal history I have of love is long and convoluted. As it is the basis for my paper, I’ll fill you in on my dealings with love from the start until recently. I started out as most do by loving my mother. I still do. I loved my dogs, cats, even my sister. These were the comfortable loves born of closeness and familiarity. I loved Gillian in the second grade in the way second graders do. This love was not enduring because her family moved away and I was too young to pine for long. In junior high, high school and the first year of college I discovered a different, more glandular type of love. These were, in hindsight, not so much love as a pheremonal response. I thought I could build love, so I picked out a fine female specimen and married her, but that dissolved quickly when I realized I couldn’t force love. I found love when I wasn’t even looking for it, and learned what it really means to be in love. I felt like I was living in a ripped bodice novel with the combined physical and emotional passion. I wanted this to last forever, but she died. Again I wasn’t looking, yet love jumped into my face like a big Newfoundland. I have been with my wife for eleven years now, and still have weak knees when I see her. I’m not going to describe love to you, you either know it or you don’t. I’m going to find out how to keep love.
It's such a weird isearch topic, so why should I be surprised that it opens weird?
ReplyDeleteI want to tentatively say yes, but weasel out of saying it categorically. Let me try to shift the burden of anxiety about your isearch back to where it belongs: you.
In other words, this is a once-over-quickly version. If you had time and I had a nicely cracking whip, you could give us reams on your marriages....
So, wait a second--if everything has been so grand, why is keeping love even a question? Has it been a problem in your life, your wife's cancer aside? Shouldn't you be telling us why this is an issue for you? Maybe in the next section? Let's see....